The Power of Words: How Expanding Your Emotional Vocabulary Builds Resilience

Have you ever said you were “stressed”, when really, you were anxious, overwhelmed, disappointed, or even just tired?

We often use broad labels to describe how we feel, yet the truth is, our emotions are much more nuanced than that. When we learn to name our emotions with more precision, we start to understand ourselves better, regulate our reactions more effectively, and build emotional resilience that helps us thrive even in tough moments.

As a wellbeing coach, I often discuss this topic and tool with my clients, because the research in neuroscience backs it up.

The Science: Why Words Matter to the Brain

Neuroscience shows that language doesn’t just describe our emotions, it can directly influence them.

It’s called the Seesaw Effect.

Think of your brain’s emotional and thinking systems as two sides of a metaphorical seesaw: when one side is up, the other goes down. When emotions are intense and unnamed, the emotional brain (particularly the amygdala) is “up,” and our rational, problem-solving brain (the prefrontal cortex) is “down.” In this state, we often feel hijacked by our emotions and become reactive, or unable to think clearly.

Yet when we name an emotion, even something as simple as saying “I feel disappointed” instead of “I’m upset”, the seesaw begins to rebalance. This process (known as affect labelling) activates the prefrontal cortex, which in turn helps calm the amygdala. Multiple studies have shown that it reduces emotional reactivity and help people recover from stress more quickly, because words regulate feelings.

Over time, individuals who develop a richer emotional vocabulary, a skill psychologists call emotional granularity, tend to experience greater emotional stability, resilience, and overall wellbeing.

So the more words you have for your inner world, the steadier your seesaw becomes. Instead of trying to suppress your emotions (which is notoriously energy depleting), you balance them.

Emotional Vocabulary as a Resilience Tool

When you can pinpoint what you’re feeling, you also give yourself the correct information to help guide what you do next. For example:

• If you label yourself as angry, you might default to confrontation or withdrawal.

• Yet if you realise you’re actually disappointed or hurt, you might instead seek understanding or comfort.

This shift in language changes the story you tell yourself, and the corresponding actions you take. Expanding your emotional vocabulary therefore helps you to:

• Recognise patterns in your emotional triggers

• Communicate clearly, which deepens relationships

• Regulate your emotions before they spiral

• Build resilience, because you can respond instead of just reacting

How to Build Your Emotional Vocabulary

Like any skill, building your emotional vocabulary takes practice. Here are some simple but powerful ways to begin:

1. Start with a Feelings List

Keep a list of emotion words handy like this one from the American Psychological Association, or create your own.

Each day, check in and ask: What am I really feeling right now? Challenge yourself to move beyond the obvious words.

2. Use the “Name It to Tame It” Technique

Coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, this technique encourages you to verbalise your feelings, either aloud or in writing. It’s a quick, evidence-based way to self-regulate, and can also be used to help others (including children) to regulate their emotions too.

3. Journal with Curiosity

Journaling is a very effective emotional management technique, notably because it requires you to write down and describe how you are feeling. It also helps you to reflect and refine your understanding of your emotional experiences.

When doing so, try to unpack your feelings further than you might normally. For example, “What kind of ‘bad’ am I feeling right now?" Am I feeling embarrassed, overwhelmed, lonely, or disappointed?”

4. Expand Your Vocabulary Through Literature and Music

Reading novels, poetry, or even listening to music with emotional depth can introduce you to new emotional words and experiences. Noticing how others express emotion enriches your own emotional language.

5. Practice with Others

In conversations, as well as picking up the language of others, try being more specific when you describe your feelings. For instance:

• Instead of “I’m fine”, try “I’m feeling calm but a little drained”.

• Instead of “I’m upset”, try “I’m feeling frustrated because my expectations weren’t met”.

This not only deepens your self-awareness but also models emotional intelligence for those around you.

Final Thoughts

Building your emotional vocabulary isn’t about becoming “perfect” at naming every feeling. It’s about cultivating a more compassionate, understanding and nuanced relationship with yourself and others.

When you can put accurate words to what you feel, you develop awareness that gives you the choice to respond intentionally, rather than react automatically. This is the foundation of resilience.

So next time you find yourself saying “I’m stressed”, pause. Take a breath. Ask yourself: What kind of stress is this? Because the moment you name it more precisely, you’ve already begun to transform it.

If you’d like to explore this topic in more detail, or get help building your resilience and wellbeing, I’d love to hear from you.

About Sophie Archibald

Sophie Archibald is a wellbeing coach who helps individuals make positive changes to flourish in their lives. With her qualifications in psychology and the science of wellbeing, and professional experience in Learning & Development, Coaching and Consultancy, Sophie blends theory with practical application. She combines evidence-based approaches, real-world understanding and her own lived experience of burnout and growth.

Through her warm, compassionate, and practical coaching style, Sophie helps clients build resilience, reconnect with purpose, and cultivate a deeper sense of emotional balance.

If you’d like support to understand your emotions more deeply, strengthen your self-regulation skills, and cultivate lasting resilience, book a free 30-minute chemistry call with Sophie.

Together you’ll explore what you’re navigating right now, clarify what your path forward looks like, and see if coaching feels like the right next step for you.